


Song of Forgetting

by Missanna444



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, post 4x10
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 02:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17499695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missanna444/pseuds/Missanna444
Summary: The SG writers said that this whole thing is to somehow make way for Alex to find love again. I know they didn't mean Sam, but yeah it should be Sam. In other words:Alex notices the gaps in her memory after the memory wipe and is about as scared as expected. Kara calls Sam to help her adjust.





	1. Chapter 1

_ “Let me save you this time…”  _  With those words, everything changed. It was for the best, truly. It was the only way to ensure that Supergirl’s secret identity wasn’t revealed. Still, in the brief moments they had to think about it, they didn’t consider the consequences to it. As soon as Alex’s memory was wiped, J’onn knelt down in front of her, asking her questions to make sure it had worked. 

“Alex, can you tell me who your sister is?”

“Easy. Kara Danvers. She’s a reporter for CatCo.” 

“That’s all?”

“Yes, that’s all. Well, except that she’s not just any reporter. She’s an amazing one.”

“Do you know why your family adopted her?”

Alex paused to think, searching for a memory that wasn’t there.

“I… Um. Her parents died. A fire or something? I’m not sure. It was a long time ago.” 

With a slight frown that Alex couldn’t decipher, he nodded and told her she could go back to work. So, she did. She went back to work as usual, and nothing felt any different. Not until someone mentioned Supergirl, anyways.

As Alex walked through the corridors of the DEO, she heard a few agents talking about the interrogation the Colonel was putting them through. 

“It was terrifying. Why would I know Supergirl’s identity? Just because we used to work with her doesn’t mean we were allowed to know who she was.” One agent said quietly.

“I know, right? None of us know. Not even Director Danvers knows. If she doesn’t know, since she’s director, then how would we know?” The other agent sighed. Alex turned the corner down a different hallway, thinking about what she’d overheard. She certainly didn’t agree with the interrogation methods being used, but there was something else about it that bothered her. Every time someone mentioned Supergirl, Alex’s mind went blank. It was as if something was supposed to be there, but it wasn’t. Instead, there was just a vast hole of nothing. She’d never felt that before. 

After work, she headed straight to Kara’s apartment. For reasons she couldn’t quite pin down, she knew she could trust her sister more than anyone. After Alex knocked nervously on the door, it was opened almost immediately by Kara. 

“Alex?” The blonde looked almost surprised. But there was something else behind her eyes, some sort of sadness. It turned to concern when she saw the look on Alex’s face. “Alex, what’s going on? Are you okay?” 

“I… I don’t know. Something isn’t right, Kara. There’s something missing.”

“Missing? Here, let’s sit down and talk this through, okay?” Kara said gently, letting her inside. Alex stepped inside and went to sit on the couch, as if on autopilot. Even that felt wrong, though. She couldn’t figure out why she thought she had such a good relationship with her sister that she could just sit down without asking first. Kara didn’t say anything about it, though, and simply sat down next to her. 

“Okay, tell me what’s going on.” Kara said gently.

“That’s the thing, Kara. I don’t even know. Something just feels wrong. There are certain things I can’t remember. I mean, there are huge gaps in my memory that I’m sure weren’t there before.” She tried to explain. “It’s like… It’s like when you’re trying to remember the name of some actor in a movie, you know? And you know exactly who it is, but you just can’t figure out their name. It’s on the tip of your tongue, you know who it is, and you know their name. But it just… isn’t there.” 

“Alex, I’m sorry… That must be so scary.” Kara said, becoming a little worried that these were the consequences of wiping Alex’s memory. She hadn’t expected Alex to be this scared.

“I can’t… I can’t even remember certain part of my childhood, specifically while we were growing up together. I remember a lot about college, and training at the DEO. But after that… well, it gets a little fuzzy. I don’t even remember why they recruited me in the first place. I was practically failing out of school at that point. It just doesn’t make sense. Kara, I’m… I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“That something is happening to me like it did with Sam.” Alex said quietly. Kara quickly pulled her close. 

“No, Alex, no. You’re okay. You’re not blacking out, you’re just losing memories, right?” 

“Yeah, but some of them are recent. I don’t remember what we talked about yesterday. I called you about something, but what was it? Kara, what did we talk about?” Alex’s tone became a little frantic as she realized that most of her memories lost revolved around Kara. 

“We just talked about work and how infuriating it was. That’s all.”

Alex swore she could see a glint of sadness in Kara’s eyes, but she blinked and it was gone. Maybe she was just paranoid. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” She asked after a moment. She remembered that, at least. She could clearly recall staying with Kara whenever she was scared or sad or just plain in a bad place. 

“Of course.” Kara smiled sadly. The two of them spent the rest of the night cuddled up on the couch, watching movies together and making plans to get Alex help for whatever was going on. As soon as Alex was asleep, Kara got up and made a call.

“Hello?”

“Sam? It’s Kara. I, um… I know you’re probably busy and you don’t have time or the energy to come back to National City, but--”

“Kara, what is it? Is something wrong?”

“It’s Alex.”

“Is she okay?” Sam was immediately paying attention at the mention of the woman who had done so much for her. 

“No… The government is trying to find out Supergirl’s identity, and… the only solution was to wipe Alex’s memory.”

“Her memory of what, exactly?” 

“The fact that I’m Supergirl. But Sam, that means wiping out memories of all the way back to when she and I were kids together. There are huge gaps that she can’t remember and she’s so scared that it’s because she might be going through something like you did. And I can’t tell her the truth and it hurts to see her this way. Can you just call or something tomorrow and talk to her? Just to convince that she’s not dealing with what you did? She needs to know that.” 

“I’ll be there first thing in the morning.”

“Sam, you don’t have to--”

“I do, Kara. She needs all the support she can get until the memories are back.” 

“Okay. Thank you, Sam.” Kara breathed a sigh of relief. If Sam was there, maybe Alex would be okay. She sure hoped so.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Alex woke the next morning to an empty apartment and a text from Kara telling her that she had to leave in a hurry for an article. Alex sighed and made her way to the refrigerator to find something to eat. It was then that she heard a knock at the door. 

“Kara, did you forget something again--?” Alex asked as she went to open the door. It wasn’t Kara who had been knocking. 

“Hey, Al…”

“Sam?” Alex’s eyes brightened momentarily, before she suddenly looked panicked. “Did I--?” 

“Call me, and then forget? No. Kara did. She told me what was going on. She was… concerned about you, and the fact that you were worried about going through what I did.” 

“I only told her about that last night. And you’re already here?” 

“I took the first flight this morning. And before you get worried, Ruby’s with Lena.”

“Oh.”

“So… Can I come in?” Sam asked gently. Alex nodded and stepped aside to let her in. 

“Right. Of course. Sorry.” 

“Don't apologize, it's okay. I caught you off-guard.” Sam said gently as she stepped inside.

“You want some coffee or something? I was just about to pour myself some.” 

“Sure, that'd be great.” Sam nodded and followed her into the kitchen. “Alex, whatever's going on, I'm sure it has nothing to do with what happened with Reign.” 

Alex groaned and set her mug down on the counter. “Jesus Christ, Sam, I haven't even had my coffee yet. Can we not talk about that right away? Tell me about Ruby, or your job, or… whatever.” 

“Okay, okay. We'll ease into it.” The brunette nodded, with scarily infinite patience. “Ruby’s doing really well. She's so excited to see you and talk about her projects and things. She misses you, but she's doing so well being away from… here.” 

“I understand. And how about you? How have you been? Are the nightmares still bothering you?”

“Alex, I came here to talk about you, not me.” 

“It's been six months, Sam. I missed you. I want to know how you are.” 

“I'm fine. It's not totally better, the nightmares still happen, but I'm not panicking as much during the day. It's getting better.” Sam shrugged, taking the mug of coffee Alex was offering her. 

“That's good. Hey, even small steps are good. I'm really proud of you.” There was something so genuine about the way Alex said it, that Sam nearly forgot why she there in the first place. 

“Even without you there with me, I know it's thanks to you. You were always there for me, so let me help you this time.” Sam said gently, trying to shift Alex to the more delicate subject. Alex sighed and moved to sit on the couch, propping her feet up on the coffee table. 

“How much did Kara tell you, exactly?” 

“Only that your memory has had gaps lately. Have you been blacking out like I did?” 

“No, actually. It's weirdly specific, the stuff I can't remember. I'm not blacking out or anything, I've just lost a huge amount of memories between the time I was thirteen to yesterday. But I swear, Sam, these memories weren't gone before. But they're gone now. I mean, even if it's not like Reign, I could be really sick or something.” 

“Alex, listen to me. It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay and you'll get through this. I'll help you.” 

“I can't ask that of you, you've got a job and a life and--” 

“Yes, I do. But you're part of that life, whether you like it or not. So, I'm going to do whatever I can to help you and make you feel comfortable until this all gets sorted out.” Sam reached over and put a hand over Alex's. Alex blinked, trying to ignore how truly comforting that had felt. 

“Thank you, Sam. Really. I don't know what I'd do without you.” She said quietly. She used to hate how much she'd missed Sam. She absolutely despised how much it hurt to see her go. Now, what she hated was how much she loved having Sam so near. She couldn't possibly have feelings for her. If she did, it would be a disaster. After all, Sam was just going to go back to Metropolis as soon as this was over. Right? 

“Well, don't think about that, because I'm here. For as long as you need me.” Sam responded. Alex didn't answer, suddenly lost in thought. “Alex, what is it?” 

“I just… I just realized something. The memories I've lost… they're all connected. They're all involving Kara somehow.” 

“How do you know?” 

“I just do. Everything before we took Kara in is crystal clear. I'm supposed to be really close to her, but I can barely remember a single second I've spent with her. How is that possible?”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little short and not too great, but honestly I'm super tired. But I'll write something extra long for the next one, I promise!


End file.
